Date: 2018-02-26 14:27
There is a guy I really really like. We were in a role-play thing online, where we act as our idol and interact with others. At first it was really boring, and I was going to stop roleplaying. Then he messaged me, and we had our teasing fights. Roleplaying became fun, and I decided to stay for awhile longer. I was roleplaying as a male idol then, and he was roleplaying as a straight male idol. I would have changed character to a female idol for him, but then I found out he already has a girlfriend in the role-play. I didn't know why, but I was a *censored* disappointed. However, I still stayed to talk to him, and I tried to socialise with more people. I really should have left then. But i thought just being able to talk to him was enough, so i stayed. Soon, his online girlfriend started becoming less active. He told me it hurt him because it felt like she was ignoring him. Then he told me he supposed he could be bisexual because of me, and he felt hopeless bc he likes a guy and a girl at the same time. Somehow I just wished he'd breakup with her, but I knew if he did, he'd be hurt. But after hearing that he likes me. I couldn't help it and just confessed to him. I didn't know what I was expecting, bc I knew he would reject me. And he rejected me, saying that he only thought of me as a friend, and he can't like me because he has a girlfriend. But somehow I hoped he still likes me, bc he said he can't like me, not don't like. A while later, he joined a yaoi role-play to test if he's bisexual. I joined that rp with him, and there he told me his feelings for his girlfriend was fading. He broke up with her soon after, and he told he likes someone in that rp. He told me it was some other guy. He told me he confessed to him, and I left, hoping I can forget him and come back with just thinking of him as a friend. But when I came back, he had broken up with his boyfriend. I realised I was unable to forget him. I thought I had hope, but I was tired of waiting, of everything. So I confessed to him a second time, writing a really really long letter stating all my feelings and questions for him. He actually read them all, and answered all my questions. He said he was confused bc he had a girlfriend then, and then he thought I had moved on and liked someone else alr, and he wasn't even really happy that the guy he said he liked, liked him back. He said he wasn't able to move on from me. So we got together, but about a month later. he became less active, and he told me it's bc of his family problems. But recently. he just became inactive, and got kicked out of the role-play. I found out he had left town with his fam for 5 months. He didn't even say anything to me. His last words were something like 'I'm yours'- so I still believe he still loves me. Or at least, I hope so. What should I do? I've been thinking, and I know we don't have future together bc we live in different countries, and he might not like me in real life. But even though he hurt me like this. I still need him. And I don't want to forget him. What should I do?